stay gold.

I spent some time today running through the first few songs I wrote and some other old passages that had long since been buried in countless notebooks, scraps of paper, and files on my computer. It's riddled with less than stellar (but still better than your average fourteen year old's) grammar that makes my total closet little-sister-of-an-English-major grammar snob run for cover. It's filled with cliches and nonsensical metaphors that I'm still having trouble translating. It's angsty and exaggerated and such typical teenage funk.

All things considered, I would never change a word.

Somehow, despite every flaw, it's clever and engaging and meaningful. It's pure. It's uninhibited. It's honest and real and everything else I could be if I would just swallow my pride and admit I don't have anything together. No, I don't want to revert to my early teenage writing tendencies. What I do want, however, is to stay young.

It's amazing how much we can learn from younger people. It's a big piece of why I love Young Life so much. Those kids break and mend my heart incessantly, and I wouldn't trade them or what they've done for me for anything. I find it funny how I talk about these kids like I was never in their position, yet I was right where they are less than a year ago. I forget how small my world once was. The way everything I knew fit into the grid of my small town, the way slamming lockers and warning bells were the soundtrack to so many afternoons spent wishing I could just get out already. It pains me to see how quickly we walk away from our youth. I see so much of myself in these kids, yet I cannot for the life of me put myself back into those shoes - until I scan another lyric filled with the frustration and heartbreak that accompany all of our teen years, and I smile at the way even after all of this change and growth, each word still gives me chills.

This weekend's holiday brought yet another swarm of "grow up alreadys" and "be an adults" that I've long since shaken off. I much prefer to stick with my Peter Pan complex and keep on exploring; second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.

Speaking of my fourteen year old self, this guy is an old favorite that I will finally be seeing live this weekend. Too excited to function, party of one.